My meeting with oncology 25th June 2013

So it's happening. I had my first appointment with my wig man... Then the oncologist. 

Yes I have put these two together, both equally important in my book! 

My wig appointment went very well. The down side was that it was the colour of Barbie (it doesn't suit me, I'm no Barbie) and I still have hair so it kept sliding but the idea was great. Lovely real hair, good length and I liked how it sat. Lovely Stephen from Leo Bancroft will now order me a couple in. He will cut, colour and style the wig for me so it should look like my hair. For the price I'm paying it should look better than my actual hair!! 

I am still going to crop my hair.  I will send you a picture of my new short hair. This will be happening asap. 

But I am going to try the cold cap. It will make my hair thin, weak, brittle and basically crap but it will contain at least an inch of hair. This is a start! If it all goes tits up I'll grab the razor and my brother in law can shave it off, no biggy. The lot will grow back. 

The next part of my day was an hour and a half wait for my oncology appointment. That was just great. I'm nervous as it is and then they make me wait! 

Finally I meet my doctor. Dr Laing, nice guy, no George Clooney but still lovely. He wants me to have bloods taken, an ECG to make sure my heart is ok (and that I have one ;-)) and scarily a CT scan to make sure 'Clive' hasn't spread! Then after all that chemo will start next week. 

I am ready. I know what drugs I'm gonna be given, I won't bore you all, even I don't understand! I have the head scarves, wigs and earrings at the ready. All is left is to start and deal with it. 

My eggs will not be frozen. There is no time. I will leave children up to fate. Right now I need to live and then I will think about my future family. 

I am scared, petrified in fact but like I've said before, my strength is so powerful even I need to question it! 

Things always happen for a reason, not sure why this is all happening right now but still, I will deal with it as it comes. 

Doctor said to me, 'do you want to hear about side effects?' 

No I don't, I will deal with them

as they happen. That's just the way I am. 

After tomorrow I should have a date for chemo.  

Is it odd that I'm looking forward to it? I need to get rid of Clive. He's just hanging around, he's really annoying me, just sat there distressing me and making me anxious. (Seriously its like a frickin boyfriend you don't want. Just my luck!) 

Anyway he'll go soon enough, I've just gotta keep smiling through the pain. Somehow it makes it easier :-) 

Xx