I have been incredibly relaxed out here. I am spending money like its Monopoly money, buying all the cheap crap they sell on the beach only because its only 10 euros and looks great on the beach! I do think that when I return home to England it will look awful although if we get some good weather all this stuff will come in handy. I will need to be as comfortable as possible.
Yes this holiday has been a life saver. I have literally forgotten my 'illness'. Clive has not really made an appearance in my head. It's like a bad break up that takes time and space to forget. Although I fear this is gonna get messy!!
Even when I speak of it I feel as if I'm talking about another Alex. A friend who I am concerned about and feel empathy towards.
I will continue to forget, relax and enjoy. Get a tan, look in the mirror and feel content with how I look. There is less judgment on this holiday. I feel good in my bikini and don't compare myself to every girl I walk past!! Maybe it's confidence that comes with age or maybe Clive for all his crap and pain that is happening and will continue to do so, will make me the best version of myself! I guess I will just have to wait and see
Xx
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