Tuesday, 23 July 2013

23rd July 2013

The devil won!! 

Turns out it was the angel in disguise. 
I'd had enough this morning. My hair cropped was fine but it was lifeless. I couldn't style it properly because it kept going limp! 
No body likes limp of any kind!! 

I looked in my shower and all I saw was hair. Hair on my pillow, hair on my sheets, on my floor, in my mouth, on my face, in my food.  Literally everywhere. And because my hair is or was so thick it was double what most people have! 

So off to the barbers I went. 

That is the end result. 

I have to say I feel relieved. I actually don't hate it at all. I feel free, strong, proud that I did it. I have put a Hermes head scarf on. It's lovely and very chic just how I'm trying to look. 

My sister cried! Bless her. I shed a small tear just to say goodbye to an old friend but I felt as if I was only saying goodbye for a while. She will return to me. 

Now I can concentrate on getting well and then my hair will grow back beautiful and thick next year. 

If I can shave my head I can literally do anything. We fear fear itself. Face it head on. You will only find out how strong you really are. I have done just that. 

My 2nd chemotherapy is tomorrow so I will update you all in a couple of days. 

Bye for now


  1. Truly amazing and you have such a beautiful face that actually you look even better than Natalie Portman did with a crop!!!
    God Bless

    1. That is the nicest compliment ever!! I will accept that with a massive thank you haha.

      Thank you for following my journey xx

  2. Hello my name is Ali and I work with Katy Edwards, a friend of your sisters. Katy forwarded your blog to me. I was going through the same as you end of 2011 and into 2012 and I imagine I can understand how you are feeling. I laughed at your comments about your hair being everywhere, me too! especially dishing up dinners and being told "there are hairs in my food", I thought it was just the cat hairs thats caused problems!! I did the same as you and thought sod it and I shaved it all off, it was going to go anyway. I was then told you actually have a lovely head, face, how lovely and it was nice not to have to bother doing my hair!! You are the same you look amazing with your hair cut off, you are very beautiful. I found the things that helped me were keeping positive, keeping your sense of humour (very important) and having inner strength, which I really did not think I had as I am not a very confident or strong person (or so I thought) but it shines though. I could keep on typing now I have got started and you will think goodness me when is she stopping. Take care and maybe I can keep in touch xxxxx

    1. Thank you for the message. I am hoping you are in full recovery now and back to a normal life again. It is a long old journey but I am heading towards the finish line. Did you feel liberated when you shaved your hair off? I keep forgetting and when i catch a glimpse in the mirror i startle myself lol.

      Sense of humour is key and hopefully i will stay strong and positive and fight this thing and win.

      Please keep reading xxx

  3. I have just sat here reading you blog about your journey with Clive, your hair, the non George Clooney doctor and you have made me laugh with your approach to your treatment. I went through a similar experience 3 yrs ago with a lump in my breast and also doctors thinking I had lymphoma. After a horrible two week wait and barrage of blood tests and a biopsy it finally came back clear but as we have a family history of Clive in various disguises my oncologist was very thorough. You are an inspiration and hair or not a beautiful strong woman. I thought I was having a bad day today but your blog

  4. Sorry I pressed publish by accident on my last comment!!!! Anyway I just wanted to let you now you made me forget all about my rotten day and thankful that I stumbled across your journey blog. I wish you all the best and will continue to follow your journey.

  5. Thank you for reading and for sharing your comments on here. I am trying to be as humorous as possible. Sometimes we just have to laugh.

    I always think that things can be a lot worse!!

    I do hope that when you are having a crappy day you can jump on here and I will hopefully make you smile.

    Also I hope that your health stays at 100%. Keep strong and continue to read and share with your friends.

    Raising awareness in younger girls is my aim

  6. Hi Alexa -
    Katie Dorse's mum commenting.

    "Wow" is what comes to mind with your head shaved - absolutely gorgeous with or without the Hermes look! A brilliant blog that is making me smile, and so inspiring.

    I am forwarding it to someone who I hope will get some of your mojo.

    Much love and looking forward to November!

    Pam xx

  7. Ah thank you Katie Dorse's mummy. I was with her earlier, she said you had commented.
    Thank you so much and yes please do pass it on. Anyone I can help will bring a smile to my face. Humour is sometimes all that is needed!

    I look forward to meeting you in November if not before.

    Much love
    Alex xx


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